Go Ask Alice Was My Anti-Drug

A "diary" scared me to death into not doing drugs. Now I find out it wasn't a real diary.

I came of age in the 80s. Yes, I had a Cabbage Patch Kid. I had Pac-Man Fever. I never had big hair but I had long hair. I watched the Moldavian Massacre on Dynasty and thought "What the hell was that? How is murdering people entertainment?" I was twelve at the time. And like many in my generation, I was told to just say no to drugs.

I went to D.A.R.E. meetings and was told to say no to drugs. I watched Different Strokes when Nancy Reagan visited Arnold's school and asked the children if they used drugs, then told them a long story about a boy named "Charlie" who beat up his little sister for pot money. I went to assembly after assembly where I was told not to do drugs. I signed drug-free pledges, frowned at Stoners, and read about Dianne Linkletter jumping out of her window because she took LSD. Every October there was Red Ribbon Week, where people who were drug-free wore red ribbons. One year there was a "Hugs Not Drugs" deal during lunch where you hug people and give them red ribbon…